end-of-year reflections 2011

maybe i try to look for timelessness in the things that i write. the immediacy of the world around us can be a shock to the system - we're constantly taking pictures of what we eat and then posting it to facebook, for example, or twittering about what we are talking about on facebook (in what appears to be a digital infinite loop).

but truly, effective communication only takes place when one can stop the chaos that is taking place around us, and connect with another human being for more than the briefest few seconds necessary to acknowledge another being's existence. there's far too much going on in the cacophony around us, and far too little time spent in silent and elegant solitude.

**

another year has passed, this time spent merantau di negara asing. there were highs (i got married, passed my MRCP, re-connected with debating and NGO work, travelled a bit) and there were lows (grandma's passing, and others) - it was a routine year. i grew wiser AND smarter (they're not necessarily the same thing), and have a clearer idea of my strengths, weaknesses and desires.

where does The Road take me, i still don't know... what i do know is that i want to be re-connected with the people in my life, those i have not seen/heard from in years....

Status Update

i love to write, but these days i prefer to reallocate my time elsewhere, such as:

1. Spend three months working as a doctor in Redang island, and have lunch with the wife every day, exercise after 5pm every day, swim in the ocean every day, sleep well every night. Life can and should be so simple.

2. Read.

3. Speak to people and catch up with friends and family, through email, texts, phone calls.

4. Move to Singapore and change industries to something i find very interesting.

**

This CNY has been a touching one for me. I'm still keeping my Malaysian mobile number, and i've got many texts and phone calls from patients that i've met over the four years as a doctor, all expressing gratitude. Changing phone numbers is a symbolic act - i will miss them.

Wimbledon and World Cups

i'm rather enjoying myself this month - i'm on leave (although i'm still going to the hospital to work), and i'm preparing for an exam next thursday. watching selected world cup games (germany v england was amazing, and the final result over preening self-absorbed rich kids made me happy as hell) and waiting for the Wimbledon finals (although Federer did lose sigh).

they've got a poet now! check him out here, with what i think is his coolest poem so far:

http://www.wimbledon.org/en_GB/news/blogs/2010-06-21/201006211277119034156.html

Happy Fathers' Day

this is the second world cup that i'm not watching with my dad. actually, i can't remember watching the 2002 world cup with him either - just bits and pieces of the 1998 one. i suppose it was university at the time, and i watched most of my games in KL with friends.

this is the second world cup he's missed. it hasn't been great so far, and the only bright spot is provided by his favourite player, Diego Armando Maradona.

i remember asking him once who he thought was the best player in the world - there was only one answer from him!

and now i have my own Maradona for my generation, sort of replacing his - Messi, just as good, if not better.

the strangest thing is, i almost wish for the old one again.

Happy Father's Day, dad.

Comeback Post

a quick check shows i last posted in october 2009. that seems like two ages ago. lots have happened:

1. i got registered! 1 february 2010 if you must know. unfortunately the wife is still in penang, but boy do we have some plans!

2. i failed two exams! if you think failing an exam was bad (and i've never failed anything before), try failing twice in a row! and the money, the agony of it, ugh...

3. i went for IELTS and scored 8.5 total. sorry if i'm a snob, but i felt a little miffed i didn't score 9. bad luck i guess, and if bad luck comes in threes...

4. i'll pass the damned MRCP at the third time of asking!

***

it's a little strange to post again after such a hiatus, but after typing some words it's becoming more natural now. :-)

***

why do people write blogs anyway? there is a deluge of data in this world and we will never be able to fully process all of it. what makes me think that my personal interest blog will draw any visitors at all?

***

the truth is, doctoring is tiring. after four years i am emotionally exhausted in a way sleep cannot cure. this is a recurring theme, but maybe now i've actually for the guts and the wherewithal to go ahead and do something about it.

***

a friend of mine is heading to PNG for 9 months with MSF. hooray for her! let's hope there're no flying spears, but lots of proper doctor work. i haven't told anyone about my possessing an authentic PNG penis shield for a long time though.

***

i'm sun-kissed and my skin is ap-pealing again. this time it's langkawi for a wedding. the beach was great, and crazily enough i went running topless at 11pm on a rainy sunday night. i haven't felt so alive in a long time, although i WAS the highest point on a flat beach, and crazy thoughts of lightning flickered across my head. it was still a wonderful 20 minute run.

***

i'm supporting argentina this time. well, everytime. it's my dad - i blame him. he worshipped maradona, who i hope will have enough sense to build something around messi. i'm thinking of joining the betting again, but i think i'll search instead for the Ultimate Collectors' Item - the North Korea football jersey replica.

***

i've got these statuettes of Ganesha that i absolutely adore, and i need to add to. if you see any figurines made from curious materials (the coolest one i have is made of amber), get it and you'll get reimbursed!

***

on the other hand, collecting prints of japanese block paintings is tedious and expensive.

***

good night, and good luck!

I'm Internet-enabled!

i'm flying off tomorrow, to take an exam in the UK. hopefully it'll be the last one for some time, and i can then study to upgrade myself for fun, rather than a structured examination. :-) wish me luck!

**

the last 69 hours or so, i've had my Streamyx connection shut down. i thought it was me, and i went out and replaced a modem, but it didn't work either.

so i called 100, to try to settle the problem. they kept saying that it'll take 48 hours. and 50 hours after i made the initial complaint, two technicians were despatched to my place.

within 10 minutes and with 2 phone calls, they diagnosed the problem.

it was a wrongly-issued work order on Tuesday, to terminate my account. to solve the problem, their hands are tied - they needed a new work order to re-connect my account. it's just a matter of a few jumper cables, no sweat.

so today morning, i went to TMpoint at 830am, and stayed there for 50 minutes, to settle this problem. initially the people there said that i'll be reconnected within 24 hours, but i said that it was not acceptable to me, and i wanted to be reconnected NOW.

and i didn't budge until i got a reassurance that i'll get it by 12pm.

my issues are as follows:

1. it was probably a clerical error that led to the termination of the service. i have no problems with mistakes that happen, and there shouldn't be a witch-hunt for the person who made this mistake. i forgive this.

2. why do you need 48 hours to settle this issue? it needs settling NOW. AT THIS INSTANT. i made a total of 12 calls to 100 over this period of 69 hours, just to settle this, because this is a matter of principle. i will not tolerate third world levels of service, not when they advertise themselves as some big international company.

the first 4 calls kept telling me that it's 48 hours to a solution. it's also not their fault - their hands are tied and the company is telling them to tell the customer that it's 48 hours to a solution.

so i waited patiently, and when Hour 48 came with no solution, i can use the company's policy against them. and i did - with a further 8 calls between Hour 48-52 trying to diagnose this problem.

i just refused to budge. i was not rude at all, i was very reasonable, said thank you and sorry, told them it's not their fault, tried to get them to agree that we need to get a solution for me, and finally at Hour 50, two technicians came, who made two calls and inside 10 minutes, got the diagnosis.

see how important it is to have men on the ground? not inside some air-conditioned call centre in KL.

3. it turned out to be such a simple problem - issue a new work order, re-connect me the next working day, and voila! no problems for all concerned.

but why couldn't the technical assistance folks in KL handle this from their computers? what kind of archaic 1960s system that Telekom Malaysia runs? can't you check this from any PC?? that technician even got the number of the work order, all through a telephone call! an analogue call in a digital world - that solved the issue.

4. in TMpoint today, they said that i needed to wait 24 hours to be reconnected. this wasn't acceptable to me, and i told them in very certain (but very polite) terms.

what sort of company terminates immediately on receiving a work order, but needs 24 hours to reconnect, even after receiving a new work order? it's just a damned jumper cable - detach, and attach.

5. all this boils down to one thing - Telekom Malaysia has a virtual monopoly on telecoms services in malaysia. a lack of competition has made them bloated and too comfortable, and therefore ignorant of an individual customer.

we don't have first world infrastructure at all, so don't lie to ourselves. we cannot even ensure 1Mbps, and South Korea is already at guaranteed 10Mbps speeds.

and we definitely don't have a first world mentality either - and the way i was given a runaround is testament to that.

there are a lot of structural flaws inside the system. and it needs to change.

the technicians are the best - Mr Sufian and Mr Suid - both very professional and very competent. i'm impressed by them, and wish there were more like-minded people in Telekom Malaysia.

**

okay, i've finished ranting. now to have lunch, and then leave for Penang to see the LOML, and then to fly off soon.

i'm ready for it. i'm ready for this. i have an exam to finish! yeah!

there's no time!!

there's no time for anything these days, but i long for a day when i can make a trip like this:

http://travel.nytimes.com/2009/09/20/travel/20explorer.html

oooh i'm lazy!

to blog, i mean. but i still read newspapers, and i surfed on to one of my favourite blogs today:

http://london-underground.blogspot.com/

and found this:

http://www.creativereview.co.uk/cr-blog/2009/august1/mind-the-staff

nice!

~ from The Madman, by Kahlil Gibran

How I Became A Madman

You ask me how I became a madman. It happened thus: One day, long before many gods were born, I woke from a deep sleep and found all my masks were stolen -- the seven masks I have fashioned and worn in seven lives -- I ran maskless through the crowded streets shouting, "Thieves, thieves, the cursed thieves."

Men and women laughed at me and some ran to their houses in fear of me.

And when I reached the market place, a youth standing on a house-top cried, "He is a madman." I looked up to behold him; the sun kissed my own naked face for the first time. For the first time the sun kissed my own naked face and my soul was inflamed with love for the sun, and I wanted my masks no more. And as if in a trance I cried, "Blessed, blessed are the thieves who stole my masks."

Thus I became a madman.

And I have found both freedom and safety in my madness; the freedom of loneliness and the safety from being understood, for those who understand us enslave something in us.

But let me not be too proud of my safety. Even a Thief in a jail is safe from another thief.

Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone...

Bill Withers, God bless him, got it 100% right - there just ain't no sunshine when she's gone. it's not warm when she's away. and she's always gone too long, every time she goes away.

i know, i know, i know, i know, i know, i know, i know, i know, i know, i know, i know, i know, i know, i know, i know, i know, i know, i know, i know, i know there ain't no sunshine when she's gone! haha! funky song, ain't it? 

well, she's gone. to Boise, Idaho, 14 time zones and 13630km away. and i can't wait to have her back in my arms - come back soon! i miss you lots, and love you dearly. :-)

and another one about H1N1

we've seen daily statements by the Minister of Health, the DG of Health, the DPM, the PM, and various Ministers (one discouraged public events, at an event in which he officiated - what hypocrisy).

why aren't there any announcements by our Infectious Diseases Physicians from Sungai Buloh, our Epidemiologists from university hospitals, and Public Health Physicians from the ministry? i think that THEY are the ones more qualified to make announcements, and not politicians, who should keep quiet in times of crises and leave it to the well-trained.