A Dose of Discipline

i thought i haven't written anything in this sensational journal detailing my life through the periscope/telescope/microscope/colposcope of my experiences - but i was massively surprised to see that i haven't posted anything for the last 3 weeks!

not that anyone's getting antsy about not getting their dose of happy thoughts.

the truth is, i'm tired out. every day is a brilliant day with something to learn and lots of things happening that make you grow into someone better than who you were yesterday.

working so hard means your priorities become a little muddled - for one year at least, your social life and family is put on temporary hold. you're so tired out and so in need of some "Me" time that you want to rest, eat well, sleep well and do your own thing for a while.

working so hard makes you treasure the smallest things in life - like a hot meal on time. so it's off to dinner - and a three week hiatus before the next post!

I Go To The Mountains

today i was in the gynae wards, when all of a sudden 10 patients came in within 4 hours, between 10am and 2pm. it wasn't a pretty sight - i finish clerking one and two more come in.

i finished somehow, grabbed a bite, went back to the maternity wing where i'm based, and found another 10 (count 'em) mothers admitted after emergency caesarians, vaginal births, MRPs, and for elective caesarians scheduled for tomorrow.

when i finish i go to the labour room, help conduct a delivery - and finished the whole day around 6.45pm.

it had rained very heavily in the afternoon, but the sun had come out again, and the whole world was nice and washed and clean and smelling fantastic.

but the mountains... oh the mountains. Taiping has the Bintang Range on its east, and the town centre is literally 5 minutes from the foothills. the mountains are so close you can almost reach out and touch them, and that's just on ordinary days.

but today... today was so clear you could see individual trees in the mountains, the sun casting its evening rays on the mountains so beautiful your heart ached and cried out God's name in praise of His creation.

i'm tired and i needed sleep, food, time alone, music, a long hot bath, a massage, a good movie, Sarah McLachlan and Lost - but something beckoned deep inside of me, a calling for me to go to the mountains, to seek strength and to seek solace.

i was physically tired today, emotionally drained from re-assuring patients and giving a small part of myself to them. most days all i would want to do is to go straight home and then turn in as soon as i can.

but today, i didn't turn left to go home... i kept going, to the mountains. i went to the mountains!! :-)

One Month at Work

yesterday was my first month anniversary at work. yes i know, mindblowing, isn't it? i never actually thought i would one day end up working. enticing dreams of late morning wake-ups, afternoon naps, long fancy dinners and midnight movies are all gone now.

no more curling up in bed on rainy mornings, reading. no more dallying over the computer, reading from Dilbert's blog. no more episodes of 24 and Lost and House. sigh... no more football too.

i am super-out-of-shape. just yesterday i was post-call (slept an hour) and came home at 6pm. i thought i'll just go kick a ball in the park - now i've pulled a muscle in my left thigh. i'm hurting, and i'm on-call again tomorrow.

i had a look at the work that i turned in when i was a medical student - case writeups and notes and all - gosh, i was so immature back then! and the worst part is, i actually thought i had a grip on things!! sigh, it would be so funny if it weren't so scary!

thankfully though - i still love what i'm doing, more each day! :-) here's to the next one month!