these are my encounters of the third kind

1. i finish watching Star Trek last week, and i walk around Piccadilly looking for the tube (it was around 10.30pm), and i pass a club, that in retrospect, was probably gay. balding guy in late 40s (though their ages are difficult to guess - schoolgirls look like grownups there) sidles up to me and asks "hey, how're things?".

that wouldn't be so strange if it weren't for the fact that he walked across the road to do that.

my response: i'm doing alright.
my reaction: walk faster and ultimately he couldn't keep up. phew!

2. then i walk past this young couple in front of a shop in Edinburgh, and they were French kissing quite amorously. i smiled in their direction, which in retrospect, was a bad idea. he looked drunk, and suddenly he was screaming obscenities at me. again, my solution? walk faster!

3. this is the best yet! again i was walking (yes, but one day i will be chauffeur-driven in London, New York, Paris, Tokyo AND Milan), this time along Baker Street, on my way to the Sherlock Holmes Museum (yesyes, i'm a geek/nerd/dweeb).

guy comes up to me and says "my friend, d'ya wanna buy a laptop? it's a brand new one week old Sony VAIO. in the shops it's £980, but i'm selling it to you for £200".

my immediate thought when he got to the word 'laptop' was 'stolen property', and his next few lines merely confirm my suspicions.

the price fell to £150 to try to tempt me! and of course i was tempted. but also, of course i didn't buy it.

although i should have. i feel certain that i can track down the real owner, and i can return it to him/her and get paid £150 for my troubles, and better yet, earn an undying friend for life haha!

so in the last 10 days - i've been mistaken for a gay, the moral police, and a criminal. i think i need to repent.

***

Close Encounters of the Third Kind is a famous Spielberg movie about alien abductions.

obviously there are close encounters of the First Kind as well as Second Kind. First Kind encounters are when there is a sighting of an UFO or alien.

Second Kind encounters are when you have some sort of effect from that exposure - radiation, amnesia, changes in the surroundings.

Third Kind encounters are when you have direct contact with aliens, up to and including abductions.

just thought i should clear the air there. Kirk out.